So, she's done it. Much like when Mary gave birth to Jesus Christ, Beyonce has welcomed a bouncing baby girl into the world, by the name of Blue Ivy Carter. Bey gave birth on Saturday, according to reports, in a New York hospital. The Bootylicious mama checked in under the name 'Ingrid Jackson' and spent a whopping $1.3 million on hiring out the fourth floor of the hospital. Congratulations, Beyonce! You've certainly taken your time, haven't you love?
But it appears she has, hasn't she? From the moment she announced her pregnancy on the VMA's in LA back in August, belting out 'Love on Top' and chucking her microphone into an audience's member's face causing them to suffer a severe facial disfigurement (OK... maybe not) then rubbing her belly with a smug satisfaction on her face, the showbiz world went CRAAAAYZEEEE. Seriously, Twitter died temporarily and everyone was so incredibly happy for this one woman that they forgot that childbirth is a natural part of human life, that actually loads of women have sprogs, that Beyonce isn't just the only one. Those who had such a sane outlook on pregnancy and childbirth, were quickly silenced. Although no one knows quite how, it was done. I assure you, it was.
And then it went ON. When is Beyonce going to have the child? She gave us February as a date to write in our calenders. Nope. Fooled us. Her fans were like dogs with their tongues out and tails wagging, ready to receive a treat from her perfectly manicured hand, scented with jasmine and incredibly soft to the paw. Her 'Countdown' Behind the Scenes video, filmed back in September, shows her telling us that she is indeed six months pregnant and that she needs to use a body suit to cover up her bump. AND THEN there was the conspiracy theory that a surrogate was actually carrying her child, they accused Bey of faking her pregnancy and using a prosthetic belly throughout. The most damning evidence was the Australian interview that she did in which as she sat down her stomach collapsed. Check that out on Youtube for all of you who possess an smidgen of doubt. How DARE you if you do. IT'S BEYONCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As the news was announced today via online news and tweets from Rihanna and the music mogul Russel Simmons. I don't think many people are THAT excited. All this faffing about has kind of killed the mood. To be honest, I'm pretty angry because I wanted to announce my pregnancy like she did. But now I can't. Obviously, I am not yet blessed with that gift but when I am, it would be on stage. Now everyone will be like: "Back off, love. Beyonce has been there and done that. You should be ashamed. We hope your child, regardless of gender, is born with a fully grown beard". And I will cry and wheel myself off the stage in utter disgrace.
The name of child is quite acceptable for celebrity standards. I quite like it. It's actually quite normal not like Apple or Willow Sage or what have you. We'll all just need to wait for the first appearance of the little girl, who will probably have learned the 'Single Ladies' dance by the age of 5 and will be worth $53 million by the age of 10. Like any of us will be jealous of that!
PS. Hope you all had a lovely New Year! As part of my resolutions, I'm going to be updating this more frequently. Yes, I'm getting my finger out! Also, might jazz it up abit. It looks pretty plain to me. So keep an eye out for the changes. xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment